“Its all about the grind.” Ya? Then why aren't I seeing results?? I've been trying to get this project off the ground for months…
“Incoming wave of depression”
Is this just going to be a constant cycle? I'm so tired of this shit...
“Gives up for a month”
Laying in my bed on a tuesday night watching episode after episode of Masterchef Junior just made it worse. These 11 yr old kids are serving up perfectly cooked lobster, a 5 layer red velvet pistachio coffee vanilla chocolate cake, homemade frosting, and built an ikea bed in 1 hour. There just so happened to be a mirror next to the TV where I can see my lazy ass slumped over eating cheez-its (yes, some things never change). I'm just taking glances at these kids who are doing the impossible and me in bed doing absolutely nothing. Took a hard look in that mirror one more time.. I looked so groggy, cheez-its all over the place, and this dead look in my eyes, like there was nothing there. Yup.. that my friends is what we all call “Rock Bottom” Something had to change. Anything. I just couldn't be like this. My old roommate, a fellow Inspired Bum himself sent me a picture that spoke volumes. More than any inspirational motivational videos on youtube (Yes I tried those..., dont judge, some of them are actually really good piss off...)
Math is fact right? So this can't be wrong?? The small inputs ended up bringing my head above water again. Finally able to think clearly again. Realized this actually does work. Its long and annoying but its a whole lot better than masterchef junior… The fact that it came from someone similar to me meant so much more. The community in the end was what helped me get back on my feet. I had to involve people in this project to get it done. I failed the first time because I didn't work with anyone. As one person, I couldn't do it all. I could plan it all but I couldn't implement it alone. Wish I didn't have to lose 10 pounds and spend weeks watching Masterchef Junior but aye.. I got out again and for all yall who know the struggle, that alone is progress.
So I got to reaching out and trying to build a team. This time, with the intention of moving at the pace I could. I wasn't concerned about doing this fast, I cared not to quit again. Worked with a ton of people but nothing ended up sticking or working out. The idea of quitting didn't even occur to me this time, because I wasn't trying to get this off fast and try to show everyone I was doing some shit..
An old friend from back in middle school hit me up and wanted to check out what was going on. (Yes.. from middle school.. Haven't talked in ages) We had a conversation and we both were on the same page. He had what I needed and I had something he didn't. It was the perfect partnership. It was random, yes, but you honestly never know where the next opportunity is going to come from. Its tacky but you truly can go through a 1000 “no’s” All you need is the one “yes”
And just like that “Inspired Bum” was finally formed. It was a Fu*&in% struggle. It was really rough, but we got on the other side. A little bit of introspection, a little bit of community, a little depression, and a whole lot of procrastination was actually able to get something done. Its possible.. It's actually possible..HERE WE GOOOO. So let's just chill and create some dope shit alright??